By: Larry F. Waldman, PhD, ABPP

Prior to retiring in 2018 I worked in the family law arena for two decades. There I saw too many unfortunate children stuck in their parents’ ugly divorce. It was sad but common for these angry parents to use the child/ren as tools to hurt their ex. At times, a parent would even strive to alienate the child/ren from the other parent, hoping to permanently break that parent-child bond.

For the kids this predicament was traumatic. It was as if, in a moment, their world had turned upside down and inside out. In their eyes their parents’ “loving” marriage had vanished. Their once “perfect” mother was suddenly saying negative things about their once “perfect” father, and vice versa. Who were they to believe? Many rules also abruptly changed.

This crazy, chaotic family process could endure throughout the divorce process and for years after the final dissolution. The child/ren typically felt helpless, anxious, alone, often guilty (believing they caused the breach), and, ultimately, angry (upon reaching adolescence).

It seems like today’s politicians are behaving similarly to those battling parents: Terrible things (and lies) are being said about each other and each candidate is attempting to alienate me from the other one–instead of speaking about their platform. Politico’s no longer represent their constituency; they, instead, are simply serving their own agenda.

Moreover, akin to the unfortunate child above, where the rules change and chaos abounds, judges today rule according to their political leanings—not the law—and Supreme Court judges—from the highest court in the land—openly accept huge gifts. Also, abortions and marijuana use is lawful in some states but not in others. What kind of laws are these?!

Like the sad child above, I feel helpless, alone, confused and traumatized. I try to cope by avoiding all the ugly “noise.” What happened to reaching across the aisle and doing something good for the country?