The amount of on-going communication today is staggering. With email, the cell phone, texting, and social networking etc., the number of messages sent each day today is probably more than 100 times the number of messages sent per day compared to 20 years ago.  With all this additional communication, are we as a society any better off?

I don’t believe so. In fact, in some ways I think we may be even worse off.

Given our current increased capacity to communicate, are we more understanding, accepting, and connected?  The current incidence of illegal behavior and violent acts in our society indicates we are clearly not more “in touch” with ourselves or with others.

Has the ability to more effectively find a life partner through the Internet decreased the divorce rate?  Again, the data denotes that that is not the case.

Ironically, with all this increased communication I believe that the value of a message has actually decreased.  By being deluged by emails and voice mails, the importance of a single message has become insignificant.  When one hits the delete button 20 times in quick succession, how much value does an individual message have?

I remember not that long ago when we answered every phone call, if we were present, and returned every call, if we were unable to initially receive it.  We also responded to every letter with another letter.

Today, it is quite common that emails, phone messages, and letters go unanswered.  The modern default response, it appears, is no response at all.  When did it happen that no response became an acceptable response?!

The problem with a non-response is that the sender wonders if the other party got the message; if they should sent the message again; if the other party is so busy they cannot respond; or the sender may contemplate that they are so insignificant that the other party chose not to respond.  Most importantly, there simply is no closure.

Technology is amazing and can be extremely useful.  However, let’s not forget common courtesy in the process of communication.  If an individual sends you a personal message, please respond.  Isn’t that what communication is supposed to be all about?

 

Larry F. Waldman, Ph.D., ABPP is a licensed psychologist who practiced in the Paradise Valley area of Phoenix for 40 years.  He worked with children, adolescents, parents, adults, and couples.  He also provided forensic consultations in the areas of family law, personal injury, and estate planning.  He speaks professionally to laypersons, educators, corporations, attorneys, and fellow mental health professionals.  He teaches graduate courses for the Educational Psychology Department for Northern Arizona University.  He is the author of “Who’s Raising Whom?  A Parent’s Guide to Effective Child Discipline;” “Coping with Your Adolescent;” “How Come I Love Him but Can’t Live With Him?  Making Your Marriage Work Better;” “The Graduate Course You Never Had:  How to Develop, Manage, Market a Flourishing Private Practice—With and Without Managed Care;” “Too Busy Earning a Living to Make Your Fortune? Discover the Psychology of Achieving Your Life Goals;” and “Overcoming Your Negotiaphobia: Negotiating Your Way Through Life.”  His contact information is:  602-418-8161; LarryWaldmanPhD@cox.net; TopPhoenixPsychologist.com.